Dear Yves Rocher

Dear Yves Rocher,

I just tried a few of your deodorants last week. The good news: I LOVE how they smell! It's so refreshing to find a deodorant that doesn't smell like all the rest. I especially like The Brown One, which is oriental and reminds me of that Liz Claiborne fragrance for men. Spark, was it called? I like the pink one too and the almond one, which should probably be renamed coconut.

And now the bad news: they don't work. Oh, they smell great when you put them on, but then a few hours later, after the sweat comes, there's no sweet smell left. Only sweaty-ass rankness. Check out Soft n Dri---that stuff works after a 12 hour shift at McDonalds! Or Right Guard, which doesn't smell as good but certainly works.

That is all.

E

Snerfling (...I really hope that's not the word for some strange fetish or something. It just came to me, like sniffing +flerping)

So I was at the only place in sthlm I know of where you can sniff the Frederic Malle line the other day, and I think I have a new scent for my wish list: Dries van Noten, which until yesterday when I looked it up online would have been referred to as "that Dutch-sounding name." (I think it's actually a Flemish name, which means.... what exactly? Does anyone actually speak Flemish? Or Dutch for that matter?) My first impression of it was that it smelled like steamed milk and toasted almonds. And I guess that will never change, because that's what everyone says about first impressions: Looking for a second job is a full-time first impression.  When I got home I peeped at basenotes and elsewhere about the frag and it seems that the whole gourmand thing is no accident--you know, Belgian waffles and I forgot the rest after mentioning Belgian waffles.... But it also apparently has a sandalwood accord, which I'm not sure if I picked up, because I kept thinking there was a balsamic woody thing going on there but that it might have been the scotch pine essential oil that I put on my hand some hours before (that gluey woody pine note, without any of the sharp greens, possibly because of low quality). And it's supposed to have real Mysore sandalwood in it. Is that possible? I thought it was supposed to be NO HOW NO WAY NO MYSORE SANDALWOOD since the unpleasantness (the overharvesting). Do I have it wrong? Well, sandalwood or not, I really quite like the Dries, so after trying it a zillion more times I might end up buying it when I'm drunk and feeling like a splurge. Except that nothing is ever open here when you're drunk, unless you get all bombed from 11-2 and not on Sundays.  So maybe not then.  We'll see, because it might smell completely different the next time I make an experience of it.

The other scent I smelled there was also from Frederic Malle, because they don't carry Serge Lutens at this store and have never heard of the line (of course not--why would someone who works at a perfume store know anything about perfume?), was Une Fleur de Cassie. Now, I've never smelled cassie absolute before or, to my knowledge, cassie flower. But I do know that it's not the same things as cassis or cassia. Something leads me to think that it's in the same olfactive range as mimosa and hawthorn (another one I've not smelled. to my knowledge)--a pale, almondy, anisic, greenish, powdery smell. Mind you, I only say anisic because every 'anisic' odorant I've come across is described as useful for mimosa and hawthorn scents. Also that these odorants don't usually smell like what I would think of as anisic--anisaldehyde is kind of hay-like and anisyl acetate smells pink.  Yep, pink. And Une Fleur de Cassie smells white. White and powdery. And floral, but not exactly like I expected. I really didn't get almond or vanilla or hay or anise or coumarin or cherry or any of that, or if I did they were subliminal, if that's the right word. I really just got a powdery pale floral. One that smelled 'classy.' Like if you added a lot of orris, you'd have a Chanel perfume. And if you added orris and ate one of those saffron buns, you'd have the whole Chanel boutique (because saffron has a leather nuance. Make sure you tell that to the next person you meet who is eating a saffron baked good). And while I appreciated the smell of Une Fleur, and I guess you could say I in-the-right-mood-quite-liked-it, I'm not sure I would ever wear it. I'm not sure when something like it would be appropriate. Maybe it makes more sense if I say that I could totally see myself wearing it with an ivory suit. But then when would I ever have the opportunity to wear an ivory suit?! Also, it seems much better suited for a woman my Mom's age (I'm not sure my Mom would like it--I think she likes her frags more hot blooded). And since I'll never be a woman my Mom's age or any age, then either it's perfectly wrong for me or perfectly appropriate-because-I-don't-have-to-be-older-to-wear-it. Does that make sense? It felt like it made sense to me the other day. Hmmmmm.....

And of course I wrote the whole preceding paragraph without explaining that mimosa/cassie/hawthorn is a note I'm really feeling right now because I bought some room spray called Mimosa and felt like I suddenly 'got it' with the mimosa descriptor. I think the spray is by Durance, who for some probably-irrational reason I've been resistant to for some time. And who knows why I smelled it in the first place, but when I did, it seemed like I finally understood something about the mimosa descriptor. Because the spray is fresh, floral, powdery and has that anisaldehydic sweetness that tells you that it's mimosa. And it also has that fantastic soft-not-sharp green note on top that I think is what attracted me to that long lost gem from the Body Shop called Leap. I'll confess--I like it so much I've worn it as perfume. And if that's wrong then I don't want to be overserved. And we all know I like the overservage. So yeah, that's why I decided to pick up Une Fleur de Cassie the other day. That and the fact that I always smell Carnal Flower and Musc Ravageur, dreaming of the day that I'd be rich enough to waltz in and buy one for my daytime scent and one for the bathroom, and one for the ballroom where I get my waltzing lessons.

And well that's the beep for now. Snerflp!

Materials

So I got some new materials the other day, in addition to the bazillions of ones that I got and never wrote about, so I thought I'd flerp a post up.

One at least is a "natural" ingredient (natural in quotes because the demarcation between natural and synthetic is so much fuzzier than it may seem initially): fir balsam absolute.  Wow--where has it been all my life?? It smells kinda like that Yankee Candle that was discontinued because it smelled too good, the Balsam Fir one. It has the very green conifer notes (nothing camphory, thankfully), and the balsamic-woody tone with the fruity tone that always comes up in descriptors for it. It's very, very thick and sticky, but it's worth getting it to dissolve in alcohol, because it's such a lovely, natural note.  And rather unlike the steam-distilled conifer notes I've smelled. It's fuller than the Himalayan fir oil and much more complex than scotch pine essential oil.  Very nice. I think I shall have to get more of it.

Two other materials I got are good examples of the blurriness between the idea of naturals and synthetics: One is Patchouli Coeur, which is a patchouli oil high in patchoulol. It's a very nice oil, not as harsh as the young, steam-distilled (?) patchouli oils you often come across in health food stores and what not. It's almost like a composition.  Recognizably patchouli, not too green, a bit of that 'round' note that patchouli can have that I've never been able to describe. I think it might be a fruity note, but I've always for some reason thought of it as having a cola nuance.  Unfortunately I don't get any of a cocoa feel from this oil, but nevertheless it's a great patchouli. I'd love to compare it with patchouli CO2 and patchouli absolute, which I don't have.  And patchoulyl acetate, which I'd quite like to smell, especially since I find interesting the olfactive differences between various alcohols and acetates (linalool and linalyl acetate, eugenol and eugenyl acetate, etc....)  The reason why I'm not sure whether this oil is a natural or not is that I'm not sure how they get the patchoulol content higher than typical oils.  I guess it's some kind of fractionation, but I'll stop any speculation there, since I don't understand those processes. The takeaway here is that if you like patchouli, you'll probably like the patchouli coeur.

And the other material is Labdasur. It's from labdanum (hence the name), and I think it's considered a synthetic. But I'm not sure if it's a fractionated version of labdanum or something extracted out of it (like alpha irone from orris?). The company that manufactures it also makes Cistasur (a synthetic) and eclat de ciste. I don't have either of those, but I do love my labdanums. The Labdasur is supposed to be leathery and animalic--I suppose the leathery part of labdanum.  To me it smells very ambery, and maybe leathery in the sense that Bel Ami is (or rather, was) leathery.  In that ambery way.  So it's a warm brown leather note like in Cuir de Russie, not a smoky leather note like cade or a black leather like Safraleine. I diluted some and put it on my skin, and it got a bit of a powdery thing going on too.  Very nice. I like this one a lot. I'd love to try the cistasur, which is supposed to be ambery and powdery, I think, and the eclat de ciste, which I think is a 'sparkling' cistus note.

I do have to reiterate that I love my labdanum. There's an absolute that I can actually buy in a store here in the Frozen North (there aren't many places to get essential oils/absolutes here), and it has a smell similar to a light oakmoss.  Speaking of which, I have some oakmoss coming, along with Timbersilk and Fixateur 505, which I'm pretty excited to meet. I just love the name, and it's supposed to smell a bit like Ambrarome, which I think is supposed to smell a bit like labdanum.  So the labdanum journey continues.

And that's my beep for today.

OK, so I sort of told myself that if I had a glass or 8 of wine then I would post something on the Interwebs. Which, now that I think about it, maybe isn't the best idea, but whatever.  I'm only in the mood to post after a glass or two of wine.  And prebiotics.

So I thought I'd flammer about things that I couldn't smell before but I can smell now.  First, the odd ones out: raspberry ketone and eugenyl acetate.  Raspberry ketone I thought I just couldn't smell.  But since there's online jangles about it helping hair growth and skin elasticity (and weight loss--how odd that something I've played with for perfume is also available in pill form for people who want to slim down), I diluted some in PG (yeah, I did that.  I said PG for propylene glycol) and then in water and put it on my face.  Why not? It's cheap enough.  And from that I get a little bit of a berry smell.  Not singly raspberry--more like a vague strawberry/raspberry/generic berry. Or like the fruity part of ethyl maltol without the burnt sugar/caramel tone.  Faint, but nice, and seemingly very versatile.  I think TGSC said one of its uses was 'Christmas blends,' and I can see this now.

And eugenyl acetate.  The first couple times I got this chem I could not smell it AT ALL.  This latest time I got an impression of it.  I think.  Now that I've come to the conclusion that acetates are fruitier than alcohols, I smelled the eugenyl in that frame of mind. I think it is fruitier than eugenol, although it's not fruity per se.  I think it's a more rounded smell than eugenol, not as sharp.  But I still can't smell it all the time, whereas I can absolutely smell eugenol, dihydroeugenol (the Monster thought that smelled like clove cigarettes) and isoeugenol (there's a weird ham note there). I like eugenyl acetate, but of course I would.  I love the clove note, and I don't think I've met a clove note that I didn't like a bit. Interestingly, the Nilsmonster couldn't smell eugenyl acetate at all either--is this common?  Anyone out there who could smell eugenol perfectly well but not the acetate? (I don't know if it's relevant, but I can smell Z3hexenyl acetate and linalyl acetate just fine.)  So I can sort of smell eugenyl acetate now, under the right conditions.

A couple more: ambroxan at 100% and Exaltolide at 100%. I can smell these now.  Before, I couldn't.  You may be thinking, "Of course you couldn't smell them at 100%! Why didn't you dilute them?!" OK.  I admit it--I'm not exactly scientific with my aromachems.  I'm not a perfumer or a compounder.  And I don't have a 'lab.'  So I usually smell things at 100% or dilute them in any carrier I have (at whatever %) and, well, yeah.  Anyway, I can smell ambroxan now.  If I hold the bottle under my nose for just a moment, I get the whiff of what I know is ambroxan (I know this mostly from drydowns of things with it.). And Exaltolide: I couldn't smell it at all before at 100%, and I don't think I could smell it in dilution, but I  COULD smell a change when I added it to things.  I can't exactly explain the change, but it just seemed to enhance things.  Well the last time I ordered it, I smelled it outside (this is important, I think because of air pressure) and I could smell it!  I could smell the balsamic character it has!  That was cool.  Other musks were somewhat easy to smell at 100%: Cosmone, Musk Ketone, Velvione, R1. Others needed dilution: Galaxolide (I put this in my bathroom spray, which essentially functions as a vehicle for experiments. I sprayed it, and after the lighter notes wore off, I was like 'this smells just like Tersor!!!'), Tonalide (to me this smells like Downy when it dries down), Habanolide (the hot-ironed fabric note is real: but you have to dilute it or let it dry down to smell it).

I'm not sure I have anything else that I can't smell at 100%. I don't really keep track of musks, since I don't expect to smell them at 100%. I have a great musk ambrette replacer that I can smell if I put it on paper and wait a short while. Otherwise I think everything I have at the moment is smellable at 100%.

And that's the burgoosh for now.
E

Still here. Still a Sauvignon Blanc wino.

So I have some castoreum absolute (50% in benzyl benzoate) on the way. But I have to admit, I prefer the Givco (I think) castoreum base. I guess it's "Disneyfied," but I just see so much possibility with it. Whereas the natural I'm just like, 'it smells sweaty.' I think I need to further dilute the natural. Am I the only one who thinks this?

Hermitage has some natural civet absolute for sale. I'm toying with the idea of buying a milliliter just to have the reference scent at hand.  After all, I've had the base (Firmenich? I got it from Perfumer's Apprentice), and I don't think that's EXTREMELY offensive.  Sure, it's unpleasant, but not all THAT bad, really.  Not something that I'd keep in a jar inside a jar (like the isobutyl quinoline, which I find quite pleasant even at 100% but which is so strong that I keep it inside a couple jars). At Symrise I smelled a sample that just smelled like bad teeth.  Or, if you will, "over 45 teeth" (I put the 45 in there since I'm, um, "over 39," and I'd prefer to think that I have 5 years before that 'teeth' smell arrives). Anyway, the natural is supposed to smell 'repulsive,' so it would be nice to have the reference smell.

But back to Givco bases. I had some Sampaquita  and used it all to simply dilute in alcohol to make scents with (it's that good). And sure, it smells like jasmine, but, like I've said before, jasmine "with all the lights turned on."  I will say, however, that in a composition I think it smells more like regular jasmine flower.  So why does anyone use natural jasmine?!?!  Now if only PA would carry a tuberose, a fully accurate carnation and a tonka base, then all the problems of the world would be solved!  I imagine that if I had the perfect tabac-new mown hay base, then I could just quit with all my experimentation, because there would be my perfect scent!

So I also have some of their 'styrax essence' on order. And I'm not 110% sure if that's a purified natural or a base or whahappen, but I'm interested to see how it will smell. It's in their 'leather key accord,' so I'm hoping it will be more a leather than a cinnamic-tolu balsam-type. But since I intend to maybe use it in a spicy leather thing that I have, then probably either will do. But I'm hoping it smells exactly like Tom Ford Private Label Tuscan Leather (which it won't), because I adore that (along with Tobacco Vanille). And not only do I adore it, but I find it deceptively simple.  I smell it and think, "I could just dilute some Suederal."  But no.  I've diluted Suederal, and it didn't smell the same.  So if anyone has a formula for a convincing formula for a fake, please do comment....

I had the same experience with Chanel's Sycomore.  I smelled it and was like, "I could make that!" Even though I knew in the back of my head that I could not, in fact, make it.  But it seemed so simple!  I can't in fact recall the smell now, except that maybe it was vetivery and definitely woody-green-foresty, and that I'm sure I thought I could reproduce it with isocyclocitral, vetiver and galbanum. Oh, to be as close to the Chanel boutique as I was when in NYC!!!! Alas.

But anyway, I have castoreum, styrax and the citrus key accord they have on the way.  I do love the citrus accord. If you look at the formula, it's almost all limonene, but that's fine, because it smells sweet and dry citrus and wonderful, and it will go with my Celeditude scent, which might be a bit too round and needs more sharp citrus.  So there you go.  But apart from that, it's all about the leather.  And spices and tobacco. And, of course, powdery musk.  So if any reader out there has any strange quinolines or spicy notes or rare musks that they want to share/get rid of, hit me up in the comments.  I'm always up for spicy notes! (I love me some Methyl Diantilis, and I'm tinkering with the idea of getting some Safranal and zingerone.)

Beep!
E

This is one of those posts where I'm, like, 'I haven't posted in a while, but now I've found Jesus, and I'm going to post all the time or at least try or explain why I haven't posted or say that I'm drunk." So yes. Obviously the Jesus part is tongue in cheek.

So I haven't posted in 10000 years, but maybe I will sort of almost kinda in a way post more in the future or something?  So there you go.

I would have posted about aromachemicals right now, but my Nilsmonster just held one of his boxes in front of my nose.  See, he has these wooden boxes that he occasionally asks for scents to put in.  So I put scents in. Usually heavy woody or woodamber notes that take forever to disappear, like Timberol.  But in this case it was loaded with Cashmeran.  And it's STILL in my nose, the Cashmeran. I like this note, but it makes me think of hairspray.  Because I was doing a lot of stuff with it in my bathroom back in my Mom's house, and I always smelled it the next day or five, and I was like, 'It smells like hairspray.' Even though it doesn't smell like hairspray PER SE, but possibly as a component thereof.  Eller?  Anyway, it has a chemical nuance.  And a clean pine nuance as well, but the 'clean' part is very chemical.  And that's why I really don't like Dans Tes Bras. Because I find it harsh and chemical.  Am I the only one?  I've never liked it.

But continuing with this streamofconsciousness, I do like Musc Ravageur. Yes, it's much more than musk, and someone who smelled it on me thought it was Shalimar.  But I do like it. Better than Muscs Koublai Kahn, which I find animal-in-a-Costasuol-kind-of-way but not so much that I'm bowled over.  I like the vanillic spiciness of MR. I might would get it as a splurge, but I'd always wonder if I should have gotten Carnal Flower, which is closer, in my mind, to genius.  Sigh.  This is Sweden for you, folks.  There is one--count ONE--place where I can buy them, apart from online.  So I have to choose well, because I can't just waltz into the department store and spray them on, mind you.  So do I buy Carnal Flower, which I would seldom wear but it's perfect, or Musc Ravageur, which I could wear much more often if everyone here weren't "allergic" to noticeable fragrances?  Oh me.  My life if so hard.

So I feel like I should talk about aromachemicals more, since I've gotten a bunch (and used them up) since I last seriously reported.  Tabanon. Undecavertol. So many others.  In some cases I'm terribly embarrassed, because I sort of remember what they smell like, but not in detail. And every now and then someone reads this blog and comments and I'm like, "Shit. People actually read this sometimes." And then I'm like, "They must think I'm an idiot because I don't dilute things and my 'smell readings' are so amateur."  For example: rum acetal.  I don't remember what I thought when I first smelled it.  I think I was like, 'Yeah, this would totally work in tobacco scents.' But I had my monster smell it, and he was like, 'Tequila.  No, liquor.  It smells like liquor. Maybe rum.' And this was without me showing him the label. Interesting was his take on Dimetol: 'It smells like Gain [detergent]'  Yes. I think.  I had seen the descriptor of dihydrolinalool attached to it, so my impression was, 'Yes, it's like a super fresh linalool. I can see how it would be used in bergamot things.'   Anyway.....

So anyway, there's really no point to this post. I guess I just wanted to feel my fingers typing again, so I could see what it's like.  But I would like to start posting again, so we'll see.  And that's the bagoosh for now.

Flerp!
E

Bath & Body Works

I gotta admit, since I live in Sweden now I do occasionally think of places like BBW.  So I had a gander on their website to see what they're offering now. So I checked out the holiday offerings: eh.  Then I clicked on View All Fragrances. And as I scrolled down, I was like, "Hey! Their fragrances have started to get sophisticated!" But then my brain corrected me: It's doubtful whether the actual fragrances have, especially considering how meh most of them usually are.  But certainly the NAMES of the fragrances, and maybe the concepts, have.  Here are some I would love to smell:

-Bonfire Maplewood (Would it smell like barbeque potato chip flavor or maple syrup? Probably the latter)

-Cranberry Pear Bellini (What's a bellini, by the by? I thought it was a potato pancake.)

-Cranberry Woods

-French Baguette----this one is really intriguing to me.  Because who hasn't wanted to find the smell of fresh bread available at your fingertips??!  I can't imagine it's photorealistic, though. And my thought is: Why bother doing it if it's not? That's the whole idea of a fresh-baked bread accord--recreate a simple, beautiful smell that everyone thought couldn't be accurately reproduced. And if it reproduces the smell of the bread and the bakery (realistically), so much the better! But having gotten excited about cheap (and expensive) scents before only to end up disappointed (too often), I won't even dare thing that this scent lives up to the hype. But if it does, I would LOVE to get my hands on it! I would put it around the house, mix up experiments with it..... If there were a BBW here and this scent was good (like the Body Shop's Steamed Milk oil a few years ago was), I would buy as much as I could.

-Mahogany Teakwood---What what?!?!  Really?? That SOUNDS great. I wonder if it smells as good as it sounds. This seems like the kind of scent I would HOPE would smell a really good interpretation of wood, complex and deep, with notes heading in directions like tobacco and incense and sap---of course the reality would probably be a thin little 'fresh wood' thing, a one-note woodamber or a re-used amber-as-in-Youth Dew thing. Basically my expectations would be very low. You'd think they would exceed them, but it doesn't usually happen.

-Marshmallow Fireside--This seems like a really good concept. But when I think about how it would be executed, I'm not sure if it could be done well. It's probably more marshmallow than fireside. In fact, I would venture to guess that the 'fireside' part of it probably is just some burnt sugar nuances, maybe even from that most ubiquitous of molecules, ethyl maltol. Speaking of which, someone by now must have named her daughter Ethyl Maltol, right? It just seems like the kind of thing someone should have done by now, someone who loves loves LOVES Angel (and a lot of people love Angel). Of course there are other caramellic notes out there, one in particular that I quite love called Homofuranol, if I have the spelling right. I think it can also be called shoyu furanone. Nice, caramel, a bit maple, bready, a little burnt. I think I prefer it to ethyl maltol, and I wonder if it's as versatile. There's also a caramellic material I've smelled called Levistamel, which I think has a pine facet (or was it celery?). I would guess you could use it (or any of them) for the sappy note that Florida pine trees have. Anyone care to comment?         Oh, and since this is called Marshmallow Fireside, I guess I should mention that I quite loved the original Fireside. It didn't smell like a fire or like smoke to me--more just like dry woods with a bit of a suede quality if I recall--but it was very, very nice. I would've worn it as a personal fragrance! (I probably did, actually--I'm prone to that sort of behavior.)

-Snowed In---I love the concepts of these types of scents. The execution almost never fails to disappoint me, however.

-Winter Night--more of the fireplace with clove and conifer and incense. Could it be as good as it sounds?

And over in the home section they have something called Cashmere Glow, which I would like to smell purely out of curiosity. See, every time I see Cashmere in the name of a scent I think "Cashmeran! It must have Cashmeran!" I don't think that's necessarily true, however. But I've heard people say that the phrase 'cashmere woods' usually refers to Cashmeran as a note, and I've smelled some cashmerical things that seemed to be about Cashmeran-----On the other hand, I'm sure there are other ways to get a 'soft' feeling in a scent, if that's what cashmere should imply. Velvione, I would presume. and Iso-E Super is famous for the 'velvety' texture it can impart, but then it's probably already in everything, even your breast milk. I would think that someone would want to do a 'cashmere without Cashmeran.' Then again, maybe people have come to expect that anything with Cashmere in the title would smell of Cashmeran.  After all, cashmere wool doesn't have a smell of its own, does it? I'm too poor to know these things. Maybe it smells like lanolin?      But antyganoo... I still think it's a little strange that this musk called Cashmeran got so associated with, well, cashmere. Because if you smell it, it's so strange---I smell something piney, clean, chemical and bright, and I get the musk aspect of it but I still haven't really gotten the cashmere aspect or the red-fruit nuance. It's also supposed to support floral notes well and have what's been described as a musty aspect that people liken to wet concrete, blood and mushroom. Are these things you think of when you think of cashmere?  I just think it's funny.  I'm sure the people who branded the molecule knew what they were doing.    And now back to the scent.  The copy says something about vanilla and peach "wrapped in the softest cashmere musk." So what say you, peeps? Is it Cashmeran?

And that's pretty much it for the scents. The only thing left to mention is the design of everything. I must say I'm impressed. I love the way the packaging looks now--has it come a long way or did I just learn to expect too little?  Even the website design is good, with a section on "exploring -their- world of fragrance."  Well done.

And I know this is a post about BBW, but I wanna mention The Body Shop briefly (and whoever accused me of being coherent in my posts anyway?!). When I was in college I expected a lot from them, probably because I still had naff, crappy taste, considering I think I still owned a bottle of Passion for Men, which may have been perfectly OK in terms of smell, but otherwise is too humiliating to contemplate. At least I always thought the bottle was ghastly. I loved Leap and the Strawberry oil that smelled like strawberry ice cream. And Satsuma, with its citrus candy, none-of-the-off-notes-of-real-citrus blaze. and later I loved some of their limited edition oils like Steamed Milk and the Almond they did, which to me smelled like the most amazing coumarin note ever and just went on and on.  That one I'm sure I wore as a fragrance, although I probably put it on my clothes.  Anyway, you get the point--I used to like them. But then something happened a few years ago, before I moved across the pond. They stopped making the cool home scent oils and came out with 3 (or is it 4?) that have never changed. One is vanilla-tonka, which sounds amazing but smells nothing like either vanilla OR tonka to me. If I had to conjecture, I'd say it smelled like a marketing meeting. And, of course, they come out with 3 Christmas scents every year: their Cranberry (which I LOVE but seldom buy--it's like cranberry but deeper, with what I've always perceived as rich, grape-like notes), something with a lemony ginger that is supposed to feel like gingerbread but is more like the spice alone (maybe whoever they get their stuff from had a lot of some ginger accord left over from when ginger was everywhere and NOT exiled to the Christmas season), and something they call Vanilla packaged in a yellowy cream color. This year it's the same. The ginger is OK--it smells like all the other gingers they've put out, and probably is. The vanilla this year is odd. I like it in the body products, where it smells rich and creamy. But in the oil (and for some reason this never comes out right with their vanillas--they've never smelled as good as a simple dilution of vanillin, or even Isobutavan, would; maybe this is due to discoloration issues) it's horrid. At least out of the bottle. Maybe diluted in the air it smells fine, but out of the bottle it's very fatty and dry, a bit coconut too but more of the fatty dryness which is unpleasant. If I were highfalutin I might say that it smells 'lactonic'--that is, of lactones (obviously), but more specifically, fatty, buttery, fruity often with a coconut angle. I kinda want to buy a bottle to see what I can do with it--experiment with blending it with other stuff and seeing what happens.  But then I smell it and I can't bring myself to buy it, because it's just not pretty. And I also remember when I've bought things like that before and it didn't end in some great mind-expanding whatever, but just with a difficult scent that I can't do anything with. Also, I much prefer mixing up things that I'm certain of what they are, so if I want to mix up a lactonic thing, I could just get some Aldehyde C-18 ("so-called," for the terminology nazis out there) and play with that, even though I'm not totally crazy about the smell of it either (but it smells better than this Body Shop thing). Because with the C18, at least you know other people are blending it too, and you can google their experiences or just ask people on basenotes about them. Whereas if you're blending up Body Shop oils, well, people might just think you're a Silly Person!  So there!

And that's the gzornk for the moment.  Flerp!
E

Glerbush

 I made a find yesterday at H&M. I love looking at cheapass scents and seeing if I could wear them or put something in them. So I was at the counter and smelled some lily thing--it was called something with Lily in the name--and found it intriguing.  So since it was 25kr, I bought it. I figured I could always give it to someone to give to their kid if I hated it. But the more I smelled it, the more I was like, "This is like a friendlier version of Amarige!" In the same way that that Body Shop summer Galaxolide thing was like a less bosomy version of Tresor. I think the lily thing had the salicylate/wintergreen type thing that Amarige has going on (because when I smell something with lots of salicylates I think Amarige), but it also felt a bit lighter, and perhaps with a kind of baked apple note or something. It was quite nice! And when I applied it simultaneously as that Zara thing that I added the entire kitchen to, it was rather lovely. A fresh apple vanilla dingleboppenelle with a musk base.  Oh yeah, and I added Auratouch to the bottle of Lily stuff.  That's the thing with cheap fragrances--you can tinker and it doesn't matter if you fuck it up.

In other bagooshes, I'm making this frankincense gadoogle for myself with frankincense, benzoin, musks, agarwood base, a flurboosh of Suederal and some other things, and I'm liking it.  But it's really not diffusive at all.  I don't understand that. Usually when I put something I wear on I can smell it (although I often don't connect it with myself--I'll usually think 'What's that amazing smell?' or 'Who's wearing that perfume with the great musk?' or 'Someone's wearing awesome deodorant!' before realizing it's me), but with this, nothing. I can smell it if I smell my hand, but it doesn't fly.  It's a mystery.

Blerp.

Today's Perfumed Day

So today I went to NK just to look around, but also to see if they carried original Polo, in the green bottle. That's my xmas scent, see, or at least it has been for several years. Oddly, I can't seem to find it in Stockholm, except at the Ralph Lauren boutique, where evil is born (but where they carry great candle smells). Isn't that weird? That you can find that garish "Big Pony" line everywhere and Polo Blue as well but not the best in the line? Do Swedes have no taste in perfume? (Answer: They don't have any more taste than Americans.) So today I found myself in NK. I didn't find the Polo, but I didn't look very hard. I did stop at the Byredo counter, however, which I always stop at in NK. You can't really avoid it--location, location, location, location.

And I thought what I always think when I'm at the Byredo counter: "OK, I'm gonna approach this with an open mind.  Surely there's something amazing here that I've missed. I'm going to find it." Actually, that was my second thought, when the salesperson spoke to me (and they always do). My first thought was just "I'm going to spray on the incense one and then look around," but then the salesperson makes the effort of walking 3 steps and saying something and you feel like you have to look, so I thought I'd give the brand another sniff.  

Full disclosure: I applied for some job at Byredo before I even came over here, and I put in a lot of flattery that I didn't mean. And since I wasn't really familiar with the line anyway, I'm sure it came out hollow.  So if anyone thinks while reading this, "But you said in that letter...." there you go.

So I spray on the incense one, which is OK and I peep a little at the others. You know that Byredo is a Swedish brand, right? Well, you could say that Byredo perfumes are a lot like first impressions of Swedes themselves: well put together, pretty, doesn't say much. The exception here is the M/Mink, or M/Ink--whatever it is. The name is confusing. That's quite interesting.  I'm not sure if it's wearable, but it's interesting. Further props to Byredo for actually training their staff, as the girl who told me about it noted that it had Adoxal in it.  (Note the staff is well-trained. I don't think they care about the perfumes; I think they were hired more for how they look. But I've never met anyone at a perfume counter who knew or cared much about perfume.)  But anyway, so I start gandering through the line.

There was one called Black Saffron, and I was sure it would smell like Safraleine. But it didn't. It didn't even smell like saffron to me.  I found it confusing. There was another that smelled interesting, metallic I think I perceived it. The rep told me that it had notes of plum, leather and osmanthus (there's that training again!). Kinda interesting.  Of course, it was about to be launched in Dubai, so it would only be in sthlm for a short time. You know, I would love to smell what they sell in the Middle East.  Isn't Yatagan supposed to be big there?  Do you think it's all heavy orientals and animalic smells? Maybe one day I'll find out.

So I'm then smelling the regular brand, and I pick one up that I think was called Palermo.  Something with a P. And at first sniff, I'm like, "This is IT! This is the STUFF!!" So I spray it on a tester and then walk off, thinking I'd finally discovered something from Byredo that I could LOVE. 

But it wasn't to be. (I'm really feeling paragraphy today!)

The more I smelled it, the more it seemed like a generic citrus-leaf kinda thing. I think I'd hoped it would be this amazing, zippy green blast that they made last a long time, but it wasn't. I kept thinking that I could probably make something close enough to it, maybe with a tomato leaf base and some Stemone or Z3hex.  Or maybe just dilute some Stemone in alcohol--I love that stuff.  So the verdict on Byredo remains: Competently done fragrances that you could pretty much find cheaper elsewhere, although probably without the magnetic bottle cap. Their incense is loverly, but Commes des Garcons has an incense line. I'm sure Serge Lutens has something fantastic in incense. So yeah.

So I kept on through NK, kinda wondering whether I'd reached my limit with perfumes and nothing would wow me anymore.  So I walk into Hermes.  I smell the Vetiver Tonka, and I get it now. I didn't get it before, but now I think I see why they call it that.  I get what's supposed to connote vetiver and the very general impression of tonka intended.  All in all I think it's a weak effort, and I'm not sure who the person is who is supposed to wear it.   So I go over to the regular perfumes.  Un Jardin sur la toit (forgive any name butchering, pedants): I hadn't smelled this, so I was excited. But I didn't like it.  It smelled like a rehash of a bunch of other things they've put out. That vegetal note with that rosy thing. Blah. So then I smelled Un Jardin apres la Mousson, and...

Wow.

I like this.  I really, really, really like this. My immediate thought was, "Hermes does an ozone." I don't know if that was right or not but who cares.  It's amazing. It's like someone took the ozone feel of Demeter's Thunderstorm or, to a lesser extent, Rain and made a real perfume out of it. Ozone, light flowers, green notes with a peppery feel, maybe some melon-type fruitiness(?)... And it lasts! On paper! Not sure about skin yet. But the point is that it's fantastic. Watery, natural, balanced, gentle. Sometimes it veers into these 'cool floral' notes that I'm not crazy about, maybe slightly into geranium territory, but that's fine, because the rest of it is so incredible.  I want to wear this every summer. I need a holiday to wear this. Maybe Celeditude? Maybe if they come out with an orange blossom version.

So then I smelled my old favorites, Bel Ami and Equipage, and HOLD THE PHONE!!!! Has Equipage been reformulated???? This doesn't smell like all the Equipage I've ever smelled.  Strangely enough, I like it better. Today's Equipage shimmered, practically sparkled. It's like someone took that part that I've always really liked about the scent, which reads to me as something like tonka/hay/chamomile/straw/golden, and turned it WAY up. At the first sniff, it was almost sibilant. But I was very pleased with it. It does seem like a much brighter fragrance now, which also means that it doesn't seem to have that crumpled, lived-in quality that I've seen it described with before. So it's not as soft and natural-smelling. I used to wear this to job interviews, but I'm not really sure if I could do that now.  Still, I quite like it.  I'd like to have both of them, but since I doubt I could, I'll take this new one.  If indeed it's the scent that's new and not my nose. But I know it doesn't smell like the bottle in my drawer.

As for Bel Ami, I think it smelled the same. It was hard to tell. Maybe everything smelled brighter in the store.  And then I smelled Rocabar again. I've smelled this before, but never fell head over heels in love with it like I did with Bel Ami, and then later Equipage. But I was smelling it today and realized that it smells quite like Baldessarini to me! But not as round. I don't really know if it's a conifer scent or not, but it kept making me think conifer.  So then I started wondering if maybe IT should be my new xmas scent! Or, rather, a xmas-and-general purpose-scent. And even though it presumably costs more than Baldessarini (which I do still love), I think I could probably take the risk that I wouldn't like it as much as I'd hoped, simply because it's Hermes, and I've never been dissatisfied by an Hermes scent before (not one that I've bought--I wore a sample of that one named for a bag once, and it was OK, but I wasn't like staining my shorts for it. And that Terre one--I've never gotten very much into it.), and if it's one that's been around as long as Rocabar (how long has it been around? I hope it wasn't introduced 5 years ago--that could get embarrassing), then maybe there's something to recommend it.

So that was today's perfumed day.  And just as a final aside, if anyone out there really, really LOVED that old Body Shop scent that was sort of chocolatey-themed but kinda naive and not as good as the Comptoir Sud Pacifique one but better than Dark Temptation and all the Bath and Body Works stabs at cocoa, then you're in luck. Get thee to Zara and get some of the Zara Chocolate Woman, because they're practically GIVING it away! It smells just like that Body Shop one (which always smelled like it should have been a base) and you can get the roll-on thingie for only 19 SEK (priced at 49)!! I'm probably gonna try to unscrew the top and maybe add some Isobutavan or ethyl maltol to it, or maybe Auratouch. Because I can't leave well enough alone.  And because it was only 19 SEK!!!! 19 SEK!!!! That's like $2 and change, but considering that everything here costs a fortune it's practically FREE!!! But don't expect sophistication. You can't get that for 19 SEK. Go now before they run out and all that's left are the underwhelming Blueberry and Cherry!!

Flerp!

Ed Shepp

Tonalide

I'm fascinated by Tonalide, and I've also had a couple glasses of wine, which as we all know, is the only way I can post anymore (this makes me like Courtney Love, right? Please tell me it makes me like Courtney Love! And on a related note, WOW! It's amazing how having to switch back and forth from the foreign keyboard you use at work and the American one you use at home [U!S!A! U!S!A!!!!!] will make you feel like a total RETARD!!!!!!]), so I'm posting. Umm, yeah.  So... Tonalide.  Does anyone else out there feel like it 'pushes up' a fragrance?  We all know I dabble, folks, and I prefer to dabble with pre-made scents, since it's both so hard to get perfumer's alcohol and commercial scents already have all the desirable additives.... Anyway, when I add Tonalide, it just seems to push up everything. It adds a sweet, fruity volume to everything.  And I mean VOLUME.  When I first used it, I noticed that it added a drydown very much like Downy fabric softener.  Now when I add it I realize that I can smell everything better, as if I'f turned up the volume on everything and added a fruity sweet thing underneath.  Does anyone else have this experience? If so/not, what do you find DOES 'turn up the volume' on stuff? I would hope that Cosmone would, as it's supposed to add 'cosmetic volume,' but who would know, since it's so expensive?? Velvione does not, but it adds a great, antiquated, face-powder feel. Exaltolide seems to just enhance things overall, but not really push them up. Galaxolide gives things a Tresor like feel. I can't figure out what Celestolide does. Ambrettolide seems to give a tartness, but I'm not sure what I would add it to. So what does Tonalide do? Does anyone out there find it does anything special?

Anisaldehyde, etc.

Do y'allz have those notes where you get an aromachemical and you're all like, "This is the PERFECT _____ note!!!!!" (until later, of course, when you realize that it's only PART of the note, but at the time you thought it was the Alpha and the Omega??) Well, I have them all the time.  When I get new aromachems.  For example, when I got methyl diantilis, I was like, "This is the perfect carnation!!!! This is the only thing I need! I'll just dilute this and then I'll be happy forever!" Later, of course, I got isoeugenol, and I had a similar reaction, but then it was tempered with thoughts like, 'They say this is like methyl diantilis, and it is! Only with a faint suggestion of ham!'

But today I finally got my anisaldehyde, which I feared might not get here at all, since you can make Los Drogas out of it, apparently (although my 4 milliliters couldn't possibly make much--maybe a microscopic grain of something?).  I've smelled anisyl acetate, which smells.... pink. Kinda fruity in cherry way, kinda powdery. Someone at a job once described it as smelling like a cheap perfumer for girls.  I've also smelled acetophenone (which may or may not be related, but smells very like bitter almond--strong, almondy, quick... in other words, super-awesome.  The main descriptors describe it as floral, as in hawthorn, and mimosa--I'll have to take them on their word, since I'm not really familiar with those flowers in nature. But apparently mimosa has a sweet, cherry-almond-vanilla-heliotrope type smell.  From what I can guess) and acetanisole, which I remember being disappointed in, as I expected a vanillic, hay-like, maybe spicy note that I didn't at the time perceive.

...Back to anisaldehyde.  The Good Scents Company says it smells 'anisic,' but when I first smelled it from the bottle I was like, 'This is the hay I've been looking for all my life!!!! This is the hay-tonka missing link!' Of course, 10 seconds later I realized that it could be a component, a building block, of the hay-tonka accord.  And even later I realized how cherry-almond it smells, but of course, tonka has always smelled partly almondy to me.  And since anisaldehyde supposedly lasts +40 hours, maybe it would be a good component for hay.  Coumarin + tobacco absolute + dimethyl hydroquinone + anisaldehyde? What am I missing???  Surely I'm missing something. Of course, if I actually tried (again) to make a hay thing, I'm sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that the ingredient list would swell to the thousands.  Such is how I do...

In my order today, the anisaldehyde was the only thing new.  The rest was: 2 salicylates (hexyl and Z3hexenyl), generic greenish ones, as opposed to generic floral ones (amyl and isoamyl); Florosa (I think I'm starting to get how it's a floralizer now); Givaudan's Lindenblossom base (is this in Curve Men??? Or is it the anisaldehyde or Florosa I'm smelling? Sometimes they get mixed up in a shipment; also, now that I smell this again, I'm really getting 'perfumery linden' from it now--before I just got *strong tangy green floral*.   I also get a little bit of a violet smell from it when a little gets on my hands); and Galaxolide 50%, which I've had enough exposure to that I can smell it when I uncap the bottle (until I start mixing; then I can only sort of recall it from memory. The best part about Galaxolide is that when you smell it, you think of Tresor, which has I think 21% Galaxolide in the formula.)

And that's the fragrance beep for today.  Flerp!

Truth or Dare

So I just zambled into Kicks over the weekend to spray something sweet 'n sparkling on, and what do I see? Truth or Dare by Madonna, right there for sale!  And for not too much money!  So I got it, more as an artifact than a fragrance.  And now I'm blogging about it.

Now, it seems from the online reviews I've read of it that, when you post your own review, you have to start out describing your relationship to Madonna.  Or, rather, that you "never really liked her much" or "never listened to her" or "don't know who she is."  It's pretty amazing how a completely ubiquitous cultural presence escapes some people!  On the other hand, I guess you could talk about how you grew up with Madonna and she was such an inspiration to you and blah blah blah blah.....  Well, here's my disclaimer:

I was in grade school in the 80s, so I loved Madonna music, especially the remixes. And I loved the whole Madonna mythology---I'm not very bright, so I bought it all, even the whole "drop me off in the middle of everything" thing when she supposedly came to Times Square after dropping out of college.  Or something. I guess I was a fan for a long time, but not an obsessive one, especially after American Life, which is the last album I remember paying attention. (Don't get me started on American Life, either. I've thought too much about an album so musically, and especially lyrically, blah.) (Or was it Beautiful Stranger? Was that after American Life? I can never keep track.) I never went to a Madonna concert, and now it feels like I missed the best chance to go by 20 years. (And I wouldn't go to a Madonna concert now unless someone bought me the ticket--I'm not made of money!) But I have done covers of Madonna songs, and I've seen the DVDs of The Girlie Show and The Virgin Tour a zillion times. (For some reason we had our own copy of a videotape of The Virgin Tour back when I was a kid. I remember wondering how it was possible that the person singing on stage was the same person as the one on the album--they sounded so different.)

So anyway, there's my Madonna connection.  Not that it makes any difference, because I'm sure anyone reading this will impose some hidden agenda on anything I have to say anyway.  So on to the perfume.

First of all, the packaging.  I like the black and white picture on the outer box, but it's pretty lame how the name of the scent is not embossed onto it.  It's "Photoshop-embossed," which isn't really the same thing.  The inner box is kinda ugly too.  The bottle: Ugh. It's really even uglier than it appears in pictures.  I just don't understand this packaging.  It looks really cheap and ugly. Maybe there is some symbolism I'm missing in the studs on the bottle. Am I missing something?  Ugh, so butt ugly.  Why so cheap?  But then you don't judge a perfume by the bottle. (Unless it's Estee Lauder's Bronze Goddess Capri, in which case you look at it and you're just like, "I want that on my shelf. Just to see it." Well, if you're me you think that.)

OK, the scent.  I don't like it. I've read that the idea is that it was mostly a tribute to her mother--to the perfume she always wore--with a bit of a Madonna twist. I guess I can see that.  Either her mother wore Fracas or White Shoulders, in that case. But this isn't as good as either of those, and White Shoulders is pretty wretch-inducing (it makes me think of an old Southern belle, stressing old--it's just too much for me, but I could see there being times when I wouldn't mind smelling it.  It also makes me think of looking at colleges in the Deep South--maybe that's really why I don't like it, but I won't elaborate on that now). What I get from the fragrance is a dry tuberose, but with opening notes that to me smell like Glade air freshener---that pink one that so many people seem to like.  Nils gets creamy vanilla and rose, but I can't get past this interpretation of tuberose. I can smell, distantly, how it's related to Fracas, but hedonically they're not the same at all. The opening notes in this are too sweet-in-an-unpleasant-cheap-floral way, and when they burn off you're just left with a dowdy, dry, not-particularly-pleasant tuberose.  It's dowdy, and some people have described it as "old lady"--a fair description, because this is kind of an old-fashioned style, at least to my nose.  I makes me think of Fracas (which I do like, but it's not my favorite scent), White Shoulders and Chloe. For tuberose, though, I prefer Michael, Fragile and even Kim Kardashian (I think my favorite would be Fragile).

I have to say that the scent surprises me, even as it disappoints. I did not expect this direction, and maybe that's because I wasn't paying attention. After all, the last time I remember Madonna and perfume being mentioned together, it was in some magazine (way back in the day) where it said she wore Youth Dew (talk about dowdy packaging!), which is something closer to what I would expect.  But this fragrance.... I dunno, maybe it's that whole Madonna-as-English-Lady thing, where she tries to be "classy." (Or, dare I say it, maybe this is just another one of those endless Madonna tributes to her mother that just doesn't work.  Think of that song on American Life for an example.) Being a perfume nut, I was always curious about the hypothetical of what a Madonna scent would smell like, and frankly I thought it would be something bolder: maybe a crazy animal or rubber accord, or something stark, designed to smell like metal. Or maybe something just trashy and fun, like a harder version of one of those Escada throwaway fruity things (which I kinda love, actually). Or maybe even something difficult.  But not a dowdy dry white flower thing.  Nils notes that the fragrance is strong, and I guess that at least stays true to the Madonna myth.  But if I would imagine Madonna doing a tuberose, I would think it would be bigger, more lushly creamier, maybe with big, syrupy berry notes or those super-sweet candy notes that I think smell like Smartees (the American ones, not the British ones). Or I would expect something dark and inky. (I just realized that I didn't mention Carnal Flower as one of my favorites. I suppose that would be my favorite tuberose fragrance, but it seldom comes to mind because I IS POOR, hos! It's like if someone asks me what my favorite kind of watch is, I'm not going to say Patek Philippe, cuz I can only afford the Canal Street copy.)

I'm not sure what I would change in the scent if the option weren't "everything." At the very least I would want the scent to smell like more money was spent on it. Beyond that, I personally would like the flower to be more fleshy and luxurious. Or it might be cool to make it extremely dry woody.  Or maybe even make it super-powdery, more so than anything out there.  I wonder what that would smell like--powdery beyond all extremes. At any rate, if the scent proves successful, and I think that Madonna's fan base predicts that it will, we can probably look forward to umpteen different variations on it or new offerings in the future.  Maybe those will be better.  One can only hope.

Isoeugenol

Is it me, or does isoeugenol have a kind of meaty undertone, like uncooked bacon maybe?  Or is the clove not making me think of ham? (even though clove and eugenol themselves never made me think of ham) Or maybe I am thinking of oriental lilies, which start to have a little hot dog (okokt korv, if you're in Sweden) undertone when the floraly smell starts to fade.  I guess only the sandman knows for sure.  Either way isoeuge is one of my favorite notes, along with methyl diantilis, to which it smells pretty similar.  Flerp!

Truth or Dare

Wow, chica came out with a perfume at last?? I didn't think it would happen. No, I haven't smelled it yet. Either it's out now in department stores here in Sweden, or we won't get it for a year, I suppose. But I had a gander at a fragrance blog about it.

So it's supposed to be a tuberose-gardenia monster with a vanillic drydown. Hmmmm.... I could see liking that, since I like Fracas, Fragile and even Michael by Michael Kors. But I could also see hating it, like I hate White Shoulders, which makes me think of looking at colleges in the Deep South way back in the day. And on the blog I looked at, there are comparisons with White Shoulders, and people who totally said the scent smelled "old lady." Love that. (Wouldn't it be awesome if the perfumer was thinking, "I'll put old fashioned White Shoulders-esque floral notes in here along with aldehydes and powdery nitromusky notes in here to make it smell oldladyish....)

So if anyone out there has it, send me a sample or something. I hope the scent isn't ghastly. ...like the bottle.

Ralph Lauren, the Yellow One

So I'm at Åhléns tonight, and I see the new Ralph Lauren garish number thingies are out for women now. In pink, yellow, purple and something else. And they have descriptions! The yellow is Radiant Floral. The purple something like Delicious Oriental (maybe luscious oriental). I don't feel like doing a whole clinical trial, so I pick one to try out, and it's the yellow. It helps that it's a "radiant floral." I don't expect much, because the ones for men were a disappointment. At least they looked better, however, with their bold colors and bottle in the same shape as the original Polo. And the sporty number thing worked better with those. But with these women's ones, the bottles are longer and the whole thing is just hideous. Just hideous. Makes me think of the word 'chav.' Anyway, here's how the yellow smelled:

Ghastly. Just ghastly.

Actually, at first sniff, it smelled pretty much just like Ralph. At subsequent sniffs, like Ralph with a grotesque peach note grafted on. To understand the peach note, you have to understand how I smell aromachemicals.

I'm not terribly organized with my smell collection or my approach to it. All the chems are sitting in a wooden box in the closet (it used to be a paper box), and a most unfortunate thing has happened in that since they've been in this small box, they all smell exactly the same straight from the bottle--like some funk made from a bunch of aromachemicals stored in a small box. So if I want to really get their character, I have to put them on paper. But that's not important. What is important is that I don't bother to dilute them to what I really should if I'm going to evaluate their odors. I just smell them 100%, which means I don't get a good idea of what they can do. Until I mix them into something. The 'toilet smell'--the ongoing perfume experiment in a bottle which we spray when the bathroom stinks--is one of those somethings. This means that Florhydral smells like something harsh and phenolic, much the same as Florosa, cyclamen aldehyde and Lyral, more or less. Dimethyl hydroquinone smells a bit leathery. And Exaltolide smells like nothing at all (until it's blended, when it does something. I can't explain it yet, but it just does something really good). And peachy lactonic things smell like dry, awful, horrible, sour, cheap peach.

This is what I smell in The Yellow Thing. That cheap, sour peachy thing. With a melon kind of nuance. And Ralph. Which kinda always smelled like a base with an apple modification. A base like Ultrazur or Dossinia, which smells kinda like every perfume smelled at a particular point in time (Ultrazur the 'seashore' things of the 90s; Dossinia those 'eau fraiches' of today and yesterday). The mixture of these notes reminds me of something horrible I once mixed up with those fre-fab fragrance oils you can usually find at some cheapish soap/potpourri/oil store. I think I mixed up a peach with a watermelon, and maybe with some geranium. Factor in that powdery smell that you get 5 minutes after putting on any of those really low-priced single-note fragrance oils (what is that? Is it the solvent?), and you get what I made for my friend Mark, who said he liked the combination of watermelon and baby powder, something I still can't get my mind around.

A bit later the peachy note is really prominent, and still unpleasant. I wonder if I'm correct in thinking it's a peach/apricot thing. A bit later it seems to have a touch of melon, but it does not improve things.

A bit later when I hold the strips right up to my nose and concentrate, there's almost a hint of those candy cigarettes that Mom dubiously bought us when we were kids. And maybe, if my nose doesn't deceive me, a faint, faint hint of a mild clove-carnation thing that I hope will get stronger. It doesn't, and I assume my nose deceived me. And while I hoped the candy cigarette smell would take over, it doesn't. I think about what a perfume composed entirely of candy cigarette smell, maybe with a bit of Smarteez mixed in (I sometimes smell this in tuberose scents). Would I like it?

EDIT: (How could I have forgotten this?) After thinking about candy cigarettes, I tried inhaling the aroma through my mouth to see if I could get another dimension from it. I saw this in a book once and have tried it multiple times. It's never been pleasant. But I figure it will help me deduce whether there is indeed some kind of candy cig thing going on here. But I try it and am gettin nothin. So I tear off a small piece of the end of the blotter and put it on my tongue, like you'd do with a quite different type of blotter. Immediately I get a taste, which is kinda bitter and metallic, but not much of a flavor. And I keep hoping that maybe flavor will come to me, that it will be like some kind of flowery fruit punch, but it doesn't. Maybe I need to adjust the technique.

Later on it just smells like the base. With watermelon. And this reminds me of that perfume Lancaster. You could put it on for free in the bathroom at the Roxy in NYC. How appropriate.

A couple hours after the initial spray it's still that thin, base-y, watermelony smell. Horrid. Too thin. Smells like it's made entirely of synthetics. Nils says it smells like watermelon, kind of like detergent. He finds it unoffensive, summery. Yes, it's summery, but you can get summery done a million times better elsewhere.

One good thing about it: Smelling the strip and then smelling my hand, on which I've sprayed That Thing I'm Always Working On now (spicy floral coumarin thing, because those are my favorite notes, with a toosh of castoreum and wood), makes what's on my hand smell rich and complex and huge, like purple velvet curtains that go on for miles and miles.

My verdict, for what it's worth: I hate this shit. I probably won't smell the others. This smells like what one of those all-pink teenage girl bedrooms in a Mcmansion in suburban Florida looks like. Avoid it. If you want to smell like hair conditioner with peaches, just get the fake Ralph that I have--it's a roll-on called Aqua that I got at Duane Reade, a drug store in NYC--and put on some of that Claire Burke peach potpourri oil. Actually, you might smell better.

Flerp!

E

Golden Delicious

What does everyone think about the Delicious line of fragrances by Donna Karan? I smelled Golden Delicious today--I've prolly smelled it before, but who can remember with all the clones on the market today?--and I have to say that I quite like it. Is it new? It smells like a 4-star hair product. (If I hadn't had that one wash that one time in that place where it felt like a magical leafy green floral hologram appeared in the air as the girl put conditioner in, I would've called GD a 5-star.) I remember that I liked the Blossom versions from the line when I first smelled them, also thinking of them as smelling like really good hair care products, but Golden is even better. The Fresh Blossom is around a 3-star hair product. Probably the green apple one too, which smells thin. I never really liked the others, because I always hoped they'd smell more appley. More literal apple. Or Jolly Rancher kind of apple. I would have loved that. And the bottles are fantastic, but they look like they would be hard to use, like they're impossible to spray after the third use. Like Bulgari Black.

But you know what? I can't think of the perfect occasion for one of those Delicious things. Maybe at the office? Is there a perfect time to smell like a great conditioner if you don't work in a salon? And if you did work in a salon, would you spray it into the air ducts? (I probably would.) Maybe it's a good scent to spray on the walls before taking a shower--but then that wouldn't really make it a perfume per se. Hmmmmmm....

All that gnork, I would love to try Golden Delicious and see if I can find the perfect occasion for it, but not for 450 Swedish crowns. If I find it in the .5 oz size (165SEK), I'll totally get it unless I'm in a different mood, but not for the full price. It's not worth it. But for the price of, say, a Gap fragrance, I would definitely buy it. This is what Gap fragrances SHOULD smell like...

...But they don't. They smell like aromachemicals. Which is redundant to say when talking about perfume, so I'll put it differently: They smell screechy, chemical, overbright and not fleshed out enough. They smell like how you would expect 100% synthetic scents on a budget to smell. (I'm sure 100% synthy budget scents can probably smell great if done well, though. And aren't most commercial scents practically 100% synthetic anyway? If done with a huge budget, they can turn out great.) And this isn't to say that they always smell very offensive, because I kinda like some Gap fragrances, but I feel like they're better suited for the kiddies.

I saw two new(ish) Gap scents today, companions for Close (do I have the name right). They've prolly been around for years in nyc, but I just noticed them today in Sweden. Not that I've been looking. One was called Near, which I got all excited when I saw because I thought it said Pear, and I love that pear note! That pear note!!!!! The other was called, um..... Hmmmmm.... Stay! That's right. Like the Madonna song. Now, I'd been smelling something or other before I came to them, so maybe I had nose fatigue, but I could barely smell Near at all. it felt like a very faint rehash of Heaven, that sharp, synthy white flower(?) thing Gap does. No improvement, though, just fainter. Maybe I have to smell it again. As for Stay, my first impression of it was that it was salty and kind of aquatic. Then I think the saltiness started to become a Calone like thing, and it was over for me. So in short, they were disappointing. I don't expect much from Gap, though. I think their scents are composed by an app.

So I'm reading the Jean-Claude Ellena book, and it's good so far. If it sells, maybe they'll get an editor AND a proofreader for the next printing. (Seriously. Maybe have another translator look at it. I'm assuming it was written originally in French, since there's a sentence that ticks off a list of things, most of which are spelled out as A of B, except one. Which is spelled A de B.) And hopefully a new design for the cover. I have to admit, Ellena doesn't come off as much a writer--the book isn't as engaging as something by Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez or Chandler Burr. Maybe it's the material--sometimes it feels like he's writing something because it was in an outline someone put together, as in "let's have a chapter on the history of perfume, since this book is about perfume." Here it can get a little textbooky. But at other times you sorta get this spark that he's talking about something meaningful to him, and talking is a good word for it, because you could kind of imagine having a conversation with him over coffee about some things. I'm thinking partly of the moments where he gets unexpectedly metaphorical and sounds like how I think a Perfumer would sound. Antyganoo, I'm only about halfway through it, but overall I'm pleased. It's cool to read a book by someone like him. It's cool that a book like this is out there. I can't wait for the next book, especially since the Frederic Malle book is, what--$300 for 32 pages? I'd read it for free if we had Barnes and Noble here in the frozen North. Hint, hint, Mr. King Man.....

Flerp!

E

Piconia

It's been a while since I blogged about any aromachems, and that's a damn shame, because I've prolly gone through almost 100 since the last time I posted, and I can't remember where I stopped. But I've been deep in the woods, through violet country, into the white flower vortex and across craters of green leaves. But alas, since I don't remember all my impressions of those chems (well, I can tell you linalool right now: a pared-down rosewood/coriander is what I get from it. I always thought it would be more floral, and I still don't know exactly what 'agrestic' means. But there you go. My mom thought linalool smelled woody), then I guess that ship has sailed. So I'll just report on the most recent acquisition, which is just 3, one I'm sure I mentioned before. Let's start with that one, I suppose:

Musk ketone: Goddamn, I love this chem. It's like the perfect musk (except that it's not very soluble in alcohol)--the first isolated musk I smelled was Cosmone, which I thought smelled like heaven. I think musk ketone smells like a more fleshed-out version of Cosmone. I get a powdery musk quality to it and what seems like a slight vanillic angle. I haven't blended it much because it doesn't seem to dissolve in anything (was out of DPG when I got it the first time and am out now). But I have sprinkled it a little and used it in a warmer with other stuff--in the warmer it seemed to contribute an aspect that always makes me think of my first experiences with Oscar by Oscar de la Renta. That rich, full, powdery, ambery kind of smell. Of course I don't think it's contributing an amber smell, and I doubt there's any Oscar on the shelves today with musk ketone, if there ever was, but that's what it makes me think of when I combine it with stuff. I also had musk xylene for a while, and to my nose it's much the same as the ketone, but I would say that I prefer the ketone, even if I can't articulate a reason why. Anyway, it's nice to have a li'l bit of nitro musk around, even if I don't get to start that "odor museum" that I wanted to.

Second: Piconia, aka isolongifolene ketone. This one hits my sweet spot. I'm not sure whether it's incredibly, ineffably wonderful or whether it's just been a long time since I smelled one of those dry woody with tabac and amber nuances chems. I expected it to smell kinda patchouline (I don't think that's a word, but I like the way it sounds), and it does, a bit. It smells very dry, earthy, woody with patchouli, tobacco (dry, unflavored tobacco; not that rich, sweet, heavy, almost fruity, hay tone of tobacco absolute), vetiver and amber angles. It reminds me a bit of Kephalis--its earthy, tobacco, dry quality. It also reminds me a bit in the beginning of methyl cedryl ketone. It's got a great dry woody character, but it's not hyperultramegasuperstrong like Karanal or Timberol or Okoumal (I think the latter two are considered to be 'medium' in strength; but they're strong to me--very harsh. But Okoumal has a nice quality to it that underlines its piercing woodiness). (It bears repeating: Karanal is STRONG.) I also think that it is, in some way, a wee bit like isobutyl quinoline, but not quite as rich and decidedly less strong (ISBQ is another reedonkulously strong chem, but not unpleasant at 100%. Just opening a 2mL bottle will fill a room with its scent, which I find to be woody, very earthy, leathery in a sense and pleasant). I wish I'd had this chem when I had all the other woody ones and was tinkering. I would love to try it with tobacco absolute, which is one of my favorite smells ever.

Veratraldehyde, aka vanillin methyl ether. I think I love every variation of vanillin I come across. By far my favorite is vanillyl isobutyrate (Isobutavan), which smells like a creamsicle without the orange. At 100% it has a weird glue-like tone, but if you just handle a bottle and a bit gets on your hands, your fingers smell like ice cream. After that I guess would be vanillin. Maybe this one after that. Then I suppose ethyl vanillin (is it odd that I prefer vanillin to ethyl vanillin? I will say one thing about e.v., though: sprinkle some in your shoes, and when you take them off they'll smell like Angel. Well, the vanillic part of Angel. With a touch of stink. OK, a heaping shit-ton of stink. And Angel!!!!!!!) Veratraldehyde smells creamy to me. And also a bit like a certain cereal that I can never name. It smells like a flavor used in cereal, I guess you could say. And it can be used as a flavor, at 50ppm, I think, where thegoodscentscompany's page says it tastes "sweet, creamy, vanilla-like." It also says it's a heliotropin replacer, but unfortunately I don't get any cherry-almond or Play-Doh notes from it. ...Which reminds me---I finally smelled actual heliotrope flowers (lindenflowers as well) recently, and their cherry-vanilla scent was very much what I expected. Now I wish I could smell vanilla cresol (Ultravanil), because I'd like to see how the phenolic note in it influences it, if it smells more vanilla absolutist. So Givaudan, feel free to send me some samples of that and anything else you don't mind parting with.

And that's today's aromachem report.

Flavor Is the New Fragrance

INTUITION ALERT: Flavor is the new fragrance. This is what my intuition tells me. And am I just basing this on a vague feeling that I have, with no real outside evidence? Of course. Because I've found these feelings to be purt-near always predictive, even if they hint at a trend years before it takes shape. I'm sure I could find evidence to support this opinion, because there's evidence to be found to support any point of view, and it would be disingenuous to just cherry-pick things from here and there to support any conclusion I want to come to. I'm not interested in doing that right now--I'm not a risk management consultancy.

But I'll say what I can say: The world of fragrance has gotten bloated and overexposed. Every year the companies bring out a new scent, usually some barely-retooled "summer" version of one they already have. Or another forgettable number. Take Escada, for example---how many too-similar perfumes do we need that smell of a tropical fruit bouquet? You'd think they would have stopped from shame alone after putting out a scent named "Tropical Punch." (Disclosure: I loved Tropical Punch. But I never bought it. I bought a $3 fake oil that smelled, thanks to gas chromatography, exactly like it. And the fact that I kept using the oil and bought it again recommends the scent, because often I would buy the oils to see if my initial attraction to the scent lasted--it usually didn't.) That's more down Demeter's alley, what with its scents from Jolly Rancher and all. Maybe it's no accident that candy companies account for so much of Demeter's inventory lately, and that one sponsored Mariah Carey's last perfume endeavour.

The takeaway here is: There are too many fragrances out there. Everything smells the same. The novelty is gone. Even in the big-companies-pretending-to-be-niche-ones putting out themed fragrance sets: Cartier with it's L'Heures, Dolce with its tarot nonsense, blah blah.....

This is not fragrance as art. This is fragrance as profit/loss statement. Perfumers didn't come up with these scents; marketers did, and accountants finished them off. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if perfumers didn't even work on any recent launches: if they're all designed by a computer program. Furthermore, if there ever was boldness in the industry, it's gone now. Who could put out anything interesting without it being watered down by marketing or focus groups or accounting? Who could afford to do so on hir own?

Lastly: saturation. Where is there NOT fragrance? It's been put everywhere except, possibly, the New York subway system. Hotels have fragrances; every celebrity has a fragrance; every well-thought out themed environment is (inoffensively) scented; some offices no doubt pipe into their buildings scents someone told them make people more productive. The only thing fragrance can do is contract. (And is this why The Body Shop hasn't updated its home fragrance oils since it switched to the new design? So long, Steamed Milk, Almond, and all the others. Now it's just solidly mass-appeal Jasmine-&-Whatever, Standard-Issue Linen, Vanilla-"Tonka", etc......)

So where does this leave us with flavor? Well, most obviously: room to grow.

Look at the flavors section on The Perfumers Apprentice website. It's growing well. I've ordered from it, and I love experimenting with the products.

Or look all around you. Restaurants, packaged food products, drinks.... Everywhere there's room for new sensations. Abstract flavors. Floral or earthy flavors. I've had perfumed champagne once, and it was the best champagne I've ever had--it beat the Moët.

But let's look at a specific example of where flavor is really working for a product: Pringles. Who doesn't love Pringles? If you don't love Pringles, then you're wrong. The original tasted great, but now we have all these new flavors to choose from, and flavors that are only here for a limited time and then are gone. It's exciting. Unlike in perfume, where it's become tedious. I have no interest in trying the latest variation of Liz Claiborne's Curve or even Chanel No. 5. But when I see Rosemary & Olive Oil Pringles, I buy them right away. And if I could find the blueberry Pringles someone mentioned to me, I would buy those too. There's still novelty there. Novelty and fun without the luxury price tag. And the best thing is that every flavor of Pringles still tastes like Pringles. They're Pringles, but different.

Now, that's just one example. This has actually been happening for a while--think of seasonal variations in flavor in hard candy. While not quite the same thing, Starbucks will occasionally introduce a limited flavor for a holiday, with limited (aesthetic) success. (Let's just say that there is a LOT of room for improvement in coffee syrup flavorings. Not only are they too sweet, but the flavors feel scrawny and even harsh. Why must a syrup labeled 'vanilla' taste like something you'd buy at the dollar store when there are probably hundreds of compounds that could be blended to create a fleshed-out vanilla? Why must it taste so bad when extract containing nothing but vanillin and alcohol can sometimes taste great? Is it something in coffee which needs to be masked/blended/otherwise accounted for? Does the formulation of the syrup need changing? Perhaps better syrups will come along.) I say the trend will grow, and hopefully some very interesting flavors will come around before the trend goes all corporate and is crushed by the limited minds that occupy that world.

Anyway, that's what I wanted to say, in my typical fractured style. Flavor is the new fragrance. You can count on that.

POSTSCRIPT: No, I'm not being paid by Pringles. That kind of luck doesn't happen to me. But I do love Pringles, and if anyone from the company that makes them is reading, feel free to send me several cases of the product. I've been practically living on them lately, anyway. Think of it as "supporting the arts." Or the crackpots. Or whatever you wanna think. Flerp!

Songs of Inspiration for People Who Are Hurting

Please excuse this interruption of the inertia for a plonch of self-promotion:

Are you hurting? Good. Because now the hurt is over.

Behold the new EP from saint-at-large Ed Shepp, Songs of Inspiration for People Who Are Hurting.

This revolutionary EP, this seminal moment in the history of music, exists to bring comfort, inspiration and even a smile to the masses of the world who are going through the hardcore ish that life sometimes throws our way. If you're hurting, this EP is for you.

But how do I know if I'm hurting?

Good question. 5589 out of 5590.5 psychotherapists estimate that everything that everyone ever does is because they're hurting. So if you've done something today, odds are you're hurting, and that you're not alone. In double-blind studies at medical research centres all over the globe, listening to this Ed Shepp EP led to FULL REMISSION of hurting symptoms in ~99.47631% of patients diagnosed by world-class psychologists with world-class hurting. That's 99.47632% better results than placebo, psychotherapy and throwing phones.

If you're hurting, this EP will help you deal with your ish. But don't hoard this wonderful gift for yourself, like an investment banker or Madonna. If you know someone who's hurting, play it for them too. Here are a couple examples of who this EP can help:

-- Are your neighbors having loud sex, keeping you up at night and destroying quality knitting time? If they are, it's because they're hurting. Play this the next time they're making all that noise. They'll be smiling, and you'll have spread Peace on Earth.

-- Is your coworker being a dinkus, or do you want him to think that you think that he's being a dinkus and that you're punishing him for it? He's probably hurting. Don't punish him with Celine Dion or Diamanda Galas. Relieve his hurting by playing this EP on repeat.

-- Have you been torturing political prisoners but not been able to get information? Maybe the problem is that they're hurting. Play them this EP repeatedly, and they might finally talk.

-- Is your wife constantly bitching at you to take out the trash, even though if she'd stop painting her nails for a second she could just do it herself and not spoil your communion with The Simpsons? She's hurting. Play this EP at a volume that will drown out her complaining. And feel peace.

There are many more uses for this world-changing EP. Explore the EP and find them yourself. You will most definitely be relieved of your hurting, and you will be bringing positive energy into the world.

Songs of Inspiration for People Who Are Hurting, the new EP by Ed Shepp. Spread the love.

-- Bob Dylan

Download average quality (128kbps) quality links by clicking on the track names below, or download high-quality (320kbps) mp3s by clicking the song icons beneath the track listing.

Songs of Inspiration for People Who Are Hurting

1. Can't Take That Away (Mariah's Theme)

2. Beautiful

3. I Don't Want to Wait

4. My Heart Will Go On

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