Julmonster

Well, it's Christymastime again, peeps. Sort of. So I'm introducing my Christmas home fragrance for this year: Julmonster, a lush blend of fir, green leaves, clove, leather, firewood and musk.

Listen to the commercial for it here.

If you're wondering how you can get it, well, you can't. Unless you know me, in which case I may send you some with a Christmas card or something. Because yes, it does exist. It was a project of mine--something I've always wanted to do--and I got to experiment with lots of different aromachemicals making it. I thought I might sell it in the end, but its dynamics changed after the first dilution, so short version: it's absurdly strong. And yes, the notes from the audio piece are, in fact, in the oil: ambroxan, Pyralone, Javanol, Karanal..... The story from the piece is adapted from my experience testing it in a friend's apartment, and then later in more open air (but not outside, as it suggests). It might be a good "outside" scent, or possibly a fragrance to gift as "Christmas for the nearly anosmic."

Anyway, it is what it is. And at times I rather like that, in the end, it reflects some aspects of me: It's intense, overwhelming, best in small doses, complicated, evolving..... I'm sure it won't be my last attempt at a Christmas scent (because it is a bit of a "bucket list" thing, if I dare say); but it was a helluva lot of fun making it and learning about aromachems and how they interact.

And that's the Julmonster beep.

Happy Christmas!

Pier One

So I went to Pier One today cuz I gotta smell all the new xmas shizz. Damn, what a disappointment. I seem to remember that once upon a time Pier One had maybe a cool scent here and there, but now I'm wondering whether I've been mistaken the whole time. Didn't they have a great foliage scent once? Anyway, I was smelling their new Christmas stuff, and it's a wreck. The whole store is a wreck, in scent terms anyway. There were about 8 different names for Christmas scents, most of which weren't even available to smell. But really, how different could they smell? Christmas scents pretty much always have the same accords--citrus-spice, cranberry-citrus or spice, fir balsam. They're so ingrained that if you look for applications for certain raw materials, sometimes "Christmas blends" will come up. Anyway, no one seems to do all that much around these themes--the evergreen smells are pretty standard and decorated either with cinnamon or cranberry notes. The citrus spice and cranberry notes are similarly joined. And sometimes someone tries to throw them all together, but that seldom works. Oh, and there's the very predictable evergreen-cedar combination that seems to sell, but for the life of me I can't understand why. Cedar can smell like saunas, hamster cages and sometimes vaguely woody notes, but it doesn't evoke Christmas for me. I would like to see more of the evergreen-firewood accord, and maybe someone could do more with a cinnamon-tonka blend, since cassia cinnamon is so high in coumarin. Or more of a spiced plum accord. OR, if you're going for that "sparkling pine" type scent, why not combine evergreen with fresh crisp green notes or ozonic notes, as opposed to peppermint? I mean, wouldn't pine/ozone work better? Of course, when you're talking about combining crisp green with evergreen, you do run the risk of coming up with a smell that evokes Chinese food. The Body Shop had one a few Christmases ago that smelled like that.

Anyway, back to Pier One. So firstly, they had about 8 different "Holiday This or That" smells, but they probably revolved around only 2 accords. Then I went to the other candles. ....When did Pier One start selling Yankee Candle and White Barn candles? Odd. Anyway, those were no better. It's like they decided that they just wanted to sell what everyone will buy instead of something interesting. Secondly, there's no secondly, so I don't know why I said firstly there. Going on to thirdsley.... So when I was looking at the regular candles I came across one called Vanilla Tonka. Great, I thought, something cheap and easy (just plop vanillin and coumarin together, right?); it should smell good. Well, I think it was misnamed. Instead of Vanilla Tonka, perhaps it should've been called something like "Caramel Furanone 1%."

So yeah. That was my visit to Pier One. Totally disappointing.

But if you'd like to know where to get the GOOD Christmas smells, I'll tell you:
There aren't any.
Seriously, there really aren't. There's nothing particularly innovative out there, even at the upper price ranges. There is ONE Christmas scent that I distinctly like, and I buy it every year: Crabtree and Evelyn's Noel. Now, there should be an umlaut there, and I think that most of what they do is kinda old-fashioned and heavy-handed (with the exception of that Island scent they have out now. It's not a perfect scent, but it's very pretty. It's citrusy enough that I would consider using it, even though it's kinda feminine. But it's nice. In the vein of, but not as lush as, Beyond Paradise. Hmmm, I hope I didn't commit heresy by saying that), I do quite like Noel. I read it as an evergreen smell with a very dominant drydown of frankincense. There's some citrus and cranberry in there too, I believe, but really, it's the frankincense that's the star. It's very nice, and refreshingly strong--both diffusive and long-lasting. Be careful if you buy it, though: don't store it with the dropper on. The oil will eat through the rubber. Store it with the cap. Now how does the oil eat through it? Dunno. Not sure if it's something in the scent or in the diluent, but I've seen it happen with one other C&E scent, also with that frankincense base. Anyway, I totally endorse this Christmas scent. Most of the others are pretty interchangeable. I like the candle and wax tart versions of Christmas Wreath by Yankee Candle, but it doesn't smell exactly right in it's other iterations, namely the plug-in, the oil and the car thing.

Beep!

Well, I was at the Body Shop last night to check out their new seasonal oils, and I gotta say--I'm very pleased with what I found. I was very, very pleased to see one called Fireside, which, true to its name, has a kind of smoky odor, although it's not exactly the perfect burning wood-type scent as, say, Demeter's Bonfire, which I find excellent. Fireside, I think, has more woody-green notes.

Interestingly, you can actually look at the notes in the oils now on the Body Shop site. You couldn't do this before, and when you'd go to the store and ask the person behind the counter, "What's in this Pine?"and they'd say, "Pine," and you'd say, "Aren't there other notes? Because I really think there's orange in here." "Pine." Now when you want to know what's in something, you can just go to the site. For example, here's their description of Fireside:

Top notes: herbal armoise, crushed leaf and pine needles, hints of aromatic juniper berries and delicate wood smoke. Heart notes: cedar lots, freshly cut incense and fir cone. Base notes: warm smoky sandalwood, hints of patchouli, spice and lichen.

Lovely! I love having it right there for me. I'm going to be experimenting with this oil at Christmastime--adding it to the Christmas Wreath tarts from Yankee Candle that I love so well. And this winter I really have to get the Firewood candle by Henri Bendel, even though it smells more like Helmut Lang's Cuiron than firewood per se. But I can't afford the really expensive Feu de Bois one. I guess the smell of woodsmoke is finally having its day, and it's about damn time.

A couple of other oils I liked at the Body Shop were Toasted Marshmallow, which was too subtle to really pick up amid the olfactory cacophony of the store, and Steamed Milk, which smells so natural it's uncanny. I really, really like this Steamed Milk one. What does it smell like? Steamed milk! That's the only way to describe it! Toasted Marshmallow is nice, kind of vanillic, I think, with a fruity tone. You can go to the Body Shop site if you really want to know what's in them...

...But don't rely strictly on the descriptions! I was really excited to smell their Plum Pudding oil, because the notes made it sound delicious, but it just didn't do it for me. It reminded me of their Spicy Berry oil, which was sharp and disastrous.

Let's see... what other seasonal oils were there? Golden Apple: underwhelming. Cinnamon: see Golden Apple. Pomegranate: Unmemorable. Gingerbread: more like "fresh sharp lemony ginger, with maybe some vanilla in the background"--didn't smell warm and cozy, like you expect a gingerbread-type scent to smell. (L'Occitane's gingerbread scent is also a dud, but that's no surprise.) Vanilla Spice: Acceptable, but a litle harsh--not very natural. Holiday Garland: I bought this last year, and the smell, which is kind of herbal, reminded me somewhat of Chinese food. I don't think it smells like Christmas at all. Pass on this one. Fresh Baked Cookies: Surprisingly natural. A confection-y, very oily/buttery vanillic smell. Not bad. Almond: Why not just call it "Benzaldehyde"? You can find fake almond oil for cheaper, and it's the same. Then again, $7 for this beats whatever the bitter almond essential oil, which is pricey, is going for these days.

And that's me quick update for now. I shall endeavor to intend to plan on aiming to attempt posting more soon, especially since I took all those notes that the first Sniffapalooza I attended, which was quite a while ago. So, as the IM'ers say: l8r.

Beep!

ADDENDUM: After smelling the Toasted Marshmallow again, I have to say that it smells faintly like strawberry. Kind of like cotton candy, actually.