I should write this in open-letter format, but whatever. I was thinking that since everything Oprah touches becomes famous, shouldn’t she create a perfume with her hair or skin flecks or something in it? She could call it Fame. Or Ôprah. Or Oprah Makes You Really Really Famous. And when you put it on, you’re famous. The fame part would probably expire quickly, before you’re finished with the bottle, but at least while it’s fresh you’d get some fame out of it, maybe more than 15 minutes, maybe less, but some definite fame. There could probably more fame essence in the eau de parfum and parfum concentrations, maybe with a super-deluxe concentration that is so exorbitantly expensive that only celebrities and the very wealthy could afford it. I hope she does make this perfume, and I hope I can afford it when it comes out. I sent Oprah a copy of my CD (it does have Ed Shepp Exposes Oprah Winfrey on it), so maybe she’ll send me a li’l tester of the parfum, maybe the beta version.